In the last week and a half, I have washed Pumpkin's bedding 11 times in 10 days.Something about taking the mattress pad, fitted sheet, pillow case, pillow protector, stuffed animals, blankets and woobie in and out of the bedroom to be re-washed has sent said items into revolt. They began fraying at their edges, seams coming undone -how very metaphoric for my state of being after enduring laundry room purgatory.
I have additionally cleaned her bathroom floor and entire toilet bowl twice now because Pumpkin resolved that imagining herself going pee-pees in the potty simply would not suffice. The required contortion, no matter how flexible she appears, always tragically ends the same with a stream ricocheting off the potty seat and landing all over the bathroom floor.
Unfortunately, Mommy doesn't notice what happened until she's already stepped in it while offering a portion of the treasure chested TP. (After 3 entire rolls ended up on the floor, TP landed in the hidden treasure chest. Only Mommy can dig it out and always finds it when needed, a.k.a. I get some from my bathroom and schlep it to her after potty success).
Finally, I've washed it twice off of the dining room floor. Just yesterday after lunch, I headed to the frig to get her a chilled banana for us to split as banana buddies. Before I could pull the banana from its bunch, the tragedy begins:
-"Silly pee-pees!"
-Quizzical look: "Eh, what?"
-"The pee-pees got my socky all wet! They're so silly!" Giggle.
-"Wait. Did you just pee through your grown up undies onto your high chair and down your leg?"
-Sheepish expression: "Uh-huh."
And just like my futile attempt to survey the damage in the bathroom, I stepped right into the mess waiting for me because, although I stood 3 feet away, hitting the hard wooden floor had increased its circumference of destruction.
While I raced to swiffer up the mess so I could throw her in the tub, Pumpkin decided swinging around her soiled sock didn't create enough enjoyment. Instead she tucked it under her chin, pretending to be a St. Bernard carrying a mini-barrel of whisky through the snow to the rescued. What seemed like a "wash off from the rump down" situation now became a full scale bath. Not only did the volume of body I needed to scrub down increase, but also the amount of dirtied furniture.
Amidst her stint of boredom watching Mommy clean and analyze the floor with all lights on to ensure no drop remained un-mopped, Pumpkin's roaming pee-peed tootsies meandered to the table leg and on top of the end of the table from her high chair. Note to self: don't forget to wipe that off.
And, la pièce de résistance: her pee pee hands touching me on the way up to the tub. Now I had to totally strip. I'd already rid myself of the sweatpants and socks that inadvertently stepped into the mess. Now my favorite pink T-shirt I just pulled from the dryer all warm and cuddly had to go like a shooting star. It's blaze of glory lasted only 20 minutes, but I enjoyed wearing it nonetheless.
Ultimately, I must prepare to jettison my romantic notions of handing Pumpkin unused diapers to mistakenly ::wink, wink:: dispense out the car window en voyage because we don't need them anymore. I still fantasize about squirting tubes of Desitin in the trash, and dream of packing away "Potty Time with Elmo" for the next child that I pray comes later rather than sooner, if at all. Who can do this more than once? Only moms.
5 comments:
There has got to be a solution to the peeing! I feel for you girl!
Can you make her sleep on a plastic sheet and not allow her anything else until the peeing stops? What's Elmo's advice? Surely, Potty Time with Elmo could have forseen this phase of the potty training, right? :p
Wow! Those are some antics! :) I hope things get better soon! I don't know about any tricks, but I remember when my sis was potty training, if she was successful, she got a jelly bean, and that made her very happy.
Trick #1 Layer the sheets and vinyl matress pads (I can do up to 5 of each on Celeste's bed), that way, all I have to do is remove the top layers when they're wet and I don't have to do laundry constantly. The layer below is always clean :)
Trick #2 Gerber makes the all-in-one training pants that are double layered, kind of like cloth diapers, only underwear shaped, with the vinyl cover
Trick #3 The "Potty Watch" is a watch-style timer for kids who are potty training, so that they go at set intervals, or they can be challenged to see how long they can play before they MUST go potty.
Trick #4 Clorox wipes instead of the "Swiffer cloth" makes cleaning up wet floors a lot faster and not as messy as full-fledged mopping
Plastic pants, drop sheets and plastic sheets... It's the only solution I can offer... Unless you wanna do what we did and lock up all the toys until pee-pees made it into the toilet only... Sadistic, but it works.
Retract that comment, NOTHING works! My living room carpet recieved a shampoo 2 times this week and there's NOTHING left to take away, let alone reward with!
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